Fa la la la la

Photo: Midday rainbow, near Gore. Stéphan Reebs

I wish I could rid myself of this underlying feeling of anxiety and restlessness. Even knitting doesn't calm me down - and that's saying something. It's probably seasonal.

This is a time of year when a lot of social guilts and worries come out of the woodwork. It seemed to start a lot earlier this time - along with the commercial pressures - have you bought your family/friend/in-law/outlaw their presents/cards/ little thoughtful gift yet - there are the community expectations. Have you attended or supported the school carols, end-of year-performance, local "insert name here" charity do?

I'm pretty good at keeping track of all these obligations and actually fulfilling a lot of them. What I am not good at is the social chit-chat and interaction that is expected. I always feel I've missed greeting someone or asking the right question about members of their family or recent events or I've said something inappropriate. I often suffer from the post what-did-I say-last-night without the influence of alcohol.

Names - don't get me started on names. I was pleased to hear that a condition actually exists in which humans do not recognise faces - Prosopagnosia.

I think I have that. Unless an individual has an outstanding or quirky feature about them their name disappears as soon as it is uttered. I am going to admit that I used to get Emma and Lara mixed up because they are both females with dark hair that knit. So this is why I greet people without mentioning names or resort to 'how are you Maaate'. I try not to get into situations where I have to introduce one person to another because I inevitably forget both names - even close relatives.

I am an innate organiser with an inherent anxiety about social interaction. If I was a hermit there would be no problem but I live in a small community and am involved with a number of groups; school, knitting, gardening and otherwise. Is it any wonder that this time of year isn't my favourite?