I thought I was a "Woman with Attitude" but today I was reminded in no uncertain term what a wuss I am in the face of conflict.
Not all conflict, mind you - there are some situations where I can weather all sorts of negativity and criticisms if I know I am in the right. These are mostly to do with logical sequences and inanimate objects. Personal interaction is where I am most at a loss. I have already posted about my ineptitude at social niceties and etiquette - today that was strongly reinforced.
The weird thing is that there are those in my workplace that would be suprised to see the blithering mess I feel I was reduced to. Sure, in the interaction I was out numbered two, strong, decisive, women to one and I was totally out of my comfort zone but here's the rub. If the people facing me had been of the male gender I am sure I would have held my own and not felt such a wuss. Is it because I have spent all of my working life in a male dominated occupation and have had to stand up for myself to survive? Is it because I felt constrained by social decorum and was unable to express my frustration freely?
Someone at work described me as having a Billy Idol strut on stage - why can't I maintain that attitude in situations such as this? Perhaps it's the black stage clothes that do it - I think I'm going to turn Goth - then I won't be such a wuss.